I believe I am slowly coming out of my long trial. What have I learnt in this trial? The need for holiness; the importance of claiming the Blood for cleansing on a daily basis; to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit; not to grieve or quench or resist the Spirit. The need for prayer; praying much more than I thought possible; praying fervently, with all my heart; praying through till the answer comes [which I still have to learn!] But, most of all, I have learnt that God’s ways are far higher than and totally different from our ways.
I thought I should take a certain path. I persisted in taking that path. I was praying and also persisting in taking my own way. I had left things to God, but I also held on to a couple of things of my own. Yesterday, 28th August, I was about to take a wrong step. In the morning, there was a strong urge to go in a certain direction, but I prayed: ‘Lord, make the way very clear to me! Make your light shine brighter and brighter on the path that I should take.’ Our family portion was from Isaiah 11.3, where it is written that the Servant of the Lord will not go by what His eyes see or what His ears hear.
Imagine, to my surprise, by evening things had taken a right about turn! What I felt to be a place of insignificance and reproach turned out to be God’s will for me. I believe that the new place where I am going to work is God’s refuge, provision and will for me.
God knows best what is good for me. My will should have been completely surrendered to Him, but it took a long time – more than 3 1/2 months. I am learning that God’s will is best for us, and what we think is good for us will actually result in strain and restlessness. Oh, how wonderful it is when we let the Lord take full responsibility for us, when we leave things to Him to do as He knows best. It is not my wisdom, but His wisdom; not my will, but His will; not my way, but His way. He knows what is best for me. My job is to pray earnestly that my will be in tune with His will.